I have something a little controversial to suggest, hear me out on this one. I know at first it might seem a bit outlandish and you might not agree, but I’m just gonna go here.
Maybe everything isn’t all about you all the time.
Shocking, I know. Indignant for me to suggest such a preposterous thing. Downright outrageous. How dare I imply such a thing? (Especially as a millennial, the truly narcissistic, selfie loving, self-absorbed group of misguided human beings that we are.)
I kid. If you’re anything like me, and if you’re reading this there’s a good chance you might be, you’re the kind of person who’s always looking out for other people and deeply concerned with maintaining the few good intimate connections you have in life. When people you love are upset, you’re upset. Someone, even someone who wronged you, being distraught brings out the empath in you and you manage to set aside your feelings and needs in order to be there for them. Even if you don’t necessarily agree with or understand their perspective, you still offer your kindest words in advice. You routinely check up on people, are loyal to a fault, and genuinely feel equally as wronged as the person in your life that’s been hurt. Generally, you’d like to think you’re a good person and you’re doing the right thing, because love is selfless and so are you. That’s why when people close to you behave towards you in ways that you feel might line up with how you yourself might act, you’re left scratching your head. But what if it isn’t always what you think?
What if you’re not the only one who feels this way, in fact, some of the people you’re wondering this about are thinking the same thing about you?
Perception is everything. In fact, it’s our reality. We can come up with a million justifications as to why someone might have acted in a certain way that fits our personal narrative, but the truth is usually so much farther from it.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve let my overactive imagination sway me into believing certain scenarios that had nothing to do with what was actually happening. Maybe it’s part of being a highly sensitive person, or maybe it’s part of having genuine concern for others. Regardless, I think it’s safe to say: check yo’self before you wreck yo’self. I promise, it’s not always about you. If your friend is busy tonight because they want to go to the gym, they don’t hate you and not want to see you, they just really want to go to the fucking gym. I know that part of being an introspective person is analyzing situations beyond their face value, but sometimes, it’s just exactly what it seems. It’s in my nature to take everything personally, so sometimes I’m reminded to step back and take a breather. The way I see a situation isn’t always the same as someone else, so what I deem appropriate, or offensive, can be something completely different between friends.
The way you precieve the world around you is just that: a preception. And while that may be your personal reality, don’t always be so quick to push that agenda on to others. Think about it from the other persons perspective before to jumping to conclusions. Most people in your life aren’t trying to hurt you (and if they are I suggest your seriously reevaluate the company you keep) so keep that in mind before assuming otherwise.
A word of advice? If you do feel in a position where your feelings have been hurt, be forcoming about it in a respectable manner. I bet you’ll find it wasn’t the other persons intention more often that not.
Isn’t one of the greatest curses and blessings as human beings how much we live inside our own heads? So sometimes, life hands us a friendly reminder to pull them out of our own asses and come up for air.