Swimming in the Stream Of Consciousness

Today I felt very unsettled. Like I was crawling out of my skin. I decided to do a mass exodus of all the bullshit in my room and actually do some laundry, and I came across this.

IMG_6893

At some point, I had shoved it in one of my purses after scribbling it. I don’t really remember writing it or why, but I figured I’d share it. It reads:

“Wish people the best. Know that they are not your competition, only you are your competition. Life is fluid, learn to roll with the punches. Don’t get too settled into routine and embrace the unexpected. Say ‘hello’ first. You’ll be surprised at how many people are waiting to do the same. Give kindness freely and willingly, but only surrender your heart to those who are worthy. Trust your gut on that, and learn to fully listen to your intuition in general. You’ll be surprised how much you really know about people when you do. Change your hair. People will tell you otherwise, but don’t listen. If it looks bad, it’s a lesson you had to learn yourself. Don’t let people take lessons away from you, they are your opportunity to grow. Piercings close, but tattoos are forever, choose wisely and soberly. Drunken hearts speak truths about you and others that you may not be ready for. Listen to what they say. We all hide ourselves very well, treat drunken intuition as truth. If you are dating a violent drunk, run. If you are a violent drunk, stop running from yourself. You are angry because of open wounds you haven’t healed. Treat your inner heart like a child. Don’t scold your feelings away, they are real and valid. Speak to loved ones you have lost even if you feel they can’t hear you. I can assure you they’re listening and will do their best to answer. Speak to people who are alive too, even if they’re not there. Your words will be absorbed into the universe and your energy will reach them regardless. You are they love you illuminate. If you want love, be love. Smile at people, smile at yourself in the mirror. Do it a few times a day. Do it all the time, you’ll learn to love to see your face happy; yourself happy. Don’t fuck with people who treat you poorly, but leave them behind in a karmically correct manner. Do not take their anger with you, and don’t stick around longer than you need to, either. People will take advantage of you, but only if you allow it. Own your percentage of responsibility in the situation and move on. Have best friends, true loyal friends, but remember to be your own best friend at times, too. Your approval is the most important, after all. Be kind to children and animals. They are innocents in the world and don’t deserve anything else. If you were hurt as a child, you were an innocent. Nothing was your fault. If you take away nothing else from this, please take that. Violence and sexual abuse is never about you, I promise. It wasn’t about what you wore or what you said, it’s about control. You have to learn to forgive yourself if at any point you want a healthy relationship with yourself. We all fuck up, bad, so learn to give yourself a damn break. Look at the moon, and I mean really look at the moon. You’re made of the same materials. Everything that is in the moon is in you, and you’re just as bright, too. Someone will look at you like you are the night sky someday, but learn to see yourself that way as well. You carried your weight on your toughest days. That’s another thing too, fuck your weight. Do things that keep you happy and healthy. Drinking lots of water gives you healthy hair, but ice cream gives you a healthy soul. Technology makes it easy to sell us a world that isn’t real. Burn beauty magazines and make s’mores over them. With people you love. By moonlight. Read this over again. Write your own mantra. Write your story. Repeat the things you need to hear over and over again until you believe them. You will eventually, have faith.

Change your hair.”

I think sometimes, I need to take my own damn advice.

Peace and wellness,
Jeanine

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s